Flying off the Handle

but defying gravity

  • 19th February
    2012
  • 19
Warning: this is going to be an emo post. I have the sads again. Apparently I’m not even worth the time it takes to either confirm that we are meeting up or to just go ahead and cancel them. You’d think that I at least deserve the fucking decency to know what the hell is going on, especially when you tell me that you think I’m wonderful and great and blah blah blah. I just don’t get why this keeps happening to me? In almost every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve just been treated like shit, like I’m not even worth their attention or energy or the time of day.  Why doen’t they see me the way I see me? I’m smart, motivated, affectionate, fun, I’m told I’m attractive…so why does this keep happening? I just can’t keep doing this. I’m so emotionally drained from the constant fear and anxiety of the bottom dropping out- which it always does. I stayed guarded for a long time to protect myself from feeling this way again, and the first time I put myself out there again, and allow myself to get excited for something good to happen for once, it’s the same old shit again. When you keep getting the message that you’re worthless, you start to believe it. When is it my turn?

Warning: this is going to be an emo post.

I have the sads again. Apparently I’m not even worth the time it takes to either confirm that we are meeting up or to just go ahead and cancel them. You’d think that I at least deserve the fucking decency to know what the hell is going on, especially when you tell me that you think I’m wonderful and great and blah blah blah.

I just don’t get why this keeps happening to me? In almost every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve just been treated like shit, like I’m not even worth their attention or energy or the time of day. 

Why doen’t they see me the way I see me? I’m smart, motivated, affectionate, fun, I’m told I’m attractive…so why does this keep happening? I just can’t keep doing this. I’m so emotionally drained from the constant fear and anxiety of the bottom dropping out- which it always does. I stayed guarded for a long time to protect myself from feeling this way again, and the first time I put myself out there again, and allow myself to get excited for something good to happen for once, it’s the same old shit again. When you keep getting the message that you’re worthless, you start to believe it.

When is it my turn?

  1. curtandcurly said: This post = my early/mid 20’s. I basically gave up and accepted that I would be single for-e-ver. Current boy came into the pic when I was 28 and it was so EASY! The bullshit is unnecessary. Don’t put up with it, because you don’t deserve it.
  2. pink-skies said: I loved the book “he’s just not that into you” it really helped me when I was dating. It’s tough and kudos to you for putting yourself out there. Don’t settle for anything less than what YOU want… You’re worth it!
  3. liligolightly said: <3
  4. marianniepants said: Love
  5. flyingupoctaves said: boys are idiots. it’s as simple as that. and as complicated.
  6. flyingoffthehandle posted this
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